(single for life)

staish (cha's little sister): oh my god i love your blog. it's like a soap opera or something for me.

braden (laughing): isn't it great? you sit there with your morning coffee, right?

staish: i'm like, please leave me alone i'm reading d's blog! and i was gone all last week and i'm so happy because i get to catch up and read all posts and the comments and i see kate commented and i have to go back and read all the posts about her from before! i'm obsessed.

this in a sarcastic tone, poking fun at me.

braden: if you haven't heard, d's become the go-to guy for relationship advice...everyone just identifies so closely with him and has to share how they went through the same thing.

me: ha, that's true. i've been getting a lot of those kinds of emails. it's sort of amazing how many.

staish: that's what you should do; give relationship advice for a living.

me: i don't know about that.

braden: people could email you their problems and you could just blog about your own life so they can identify with the things you've been through. it's like therapy without the advice.

staish: yeah, cuz if he was a therapist it'd be, "tell me what's on your mind...and now let's make out".

(rss awareness day)

today is RSS Awareness Day, and as such i'm making you wonderful freaks aware of Real Simple Syndication.

because d-blogged dot com is the after-school activities to your pre-school life.

you bloggers all know what RSS is and the ways it can make the internet a lot easier to navigate. what i think a lot of people who don't follow blogs or just read their friend's blogs may not realize is how powerful these feeds can be.

it's quite simply a way to follow all your favorite sites without having to surf the internet.

you bring the internet to you.

tame the beast.

be aware.

(he made a list)

there are a few open bl-issues i want to clear up this morning. bl-issues = blog issues = issues raised by my blog.

you see, i operate in the realm of semi-anonymity in the sense that "d" is a mythical creature with a low-profile job. oh, and an active sex life.

hopefully you like this unicorn of a man i've created.

but in all seriousness, working in a public, yet vailed, medium is challenging and rewarding, because the things i write come back to me in phone conversations, bars, and all over the net. my blog feeds into a number of different online locales, the most explicit being facebook, which is the one place i do feel i can control who sees what.

so people in my life read this stuff, and if you're a blogger, you know sometimes you make new friends from other blogs as a corollary to blogging. the people i know and the people i sort of know, in a lot of cases, have questions about certain things i write.

bl-issues.

so i'd like to clear a few up.

• branner got his name from branner hall, my freshman dorm. professor john casper branner, a geologist, was stanford's very first faculty member, so technically my dog's named after an intelligent individual...not a cesspool of drunken make-out sessions.



• i'm not pining for my ex-girlfriend. in fact, beyond hoping she's really happy, i am in a great place about our relationship, which ended many months ago. i haven't seen or spoken to her in a few months. the downside of writing about an ex is the natural speculation it sparks for readers. i didn't start writing about her until i felt a peace with the whole experience, and i did so mostly because i think a lot of my readers might take something away from the long road kate and i took to get past one another.



• summercamp, the music festival i bartend each year, is going to be a solo affair, unless braden can find a cohort to make it a threesome. there's no room for another worker in chalise's absence, per management, so either i'm rolling down there alone or someone laid-back and able to buy a ticket will kick it with brady while i'm slingin' the sauce. apologies to everyone who was interested in working the fest...it's out of my control!



• cha-rule is moving to san diego, which i actually first noted in the comments of ex-everything's blog. this is less a bl-issue as just an issue for this blog's writer. i think the best word to summarize the why of this move is "pursuing", and i think now is as good a time as ever to get on with pursuing sh*t.

any other questions, concerns, or comments i should be aware of?

(you gotta love progress)

the internet's obviously amazing.

totally marriage material.

and lately i've been playing around with lots of different tools that are floating around in the social network and web 2.0 space, hoping to find some of them useful, efficient, and/or fun.

on top of that, i'm launching little side project blogs and i've even consulted with some programmers in india about putting together a little network of my own.

the nerd level is at an all-time high, i'll admit.

but when you essentially start poking your head around a long list of blogs and watching (from afar) the goings on of events like south by southwest interactive (or blogher08, for that matter), a guy like me* i think is kind of destined for this kind of exploration.

sidenote: this exploration results in many usernames and passwords, which for a guy like me means many forgotten usernames and passwords. annoy. ing.

what i am finding, alongside very useful tools and some truly exciting exposure to exciting new ideas, is the inevitable downsides to all this nosing around and digital stumbling.

the google reader is like mount everest. i miss you guys and your writing, and can't seem to catch up.

the inspirations are overwhelming and the feeling that one possiblity after another is right there for the taking actually stresses me out sometimes. yes...i do think this is just an internal character flaw; i feel like every great idea needs nurturing, and have trouble focusing sometimes.

and trying out new things on the web naturally lends itself to de-centralizing your web presence. this is very tangible, because i want my offline friends to be able to find me (which is why i invited all you bozos onto twitter, which has been completely wonderful and hilarious), and i don't want to sit on a computer all day trying to figure out where i'm at or what i'm doing on an endless list of cyber locales.

here's a fact, though: the nerdiness and habits won't stop.

this i know.

so i think i just need to stop worrying about it in any real way.

how are the internets treating you?




*who has an unrelentless curiousity, background in human computer interaction, an overly social nature and NO GIRLFRIEND (surprised? me neither).

(blog carnival)

so 20SB had it's first blog carnival, hosted by sequined over at sequins and glitter.

the theme of the first carnival was (appropriately) "FIRSTS":

it was a resounding success. as she put it:

The response was overwhelming, with almost 70 entries! Here are the most interesting, most well written, most enjoyable, most insightful, most sincere posts of the lot!

she proceeds to feature a handful of the submissions, and guess who was featured?

my ex-girlfriend.

okay not really it was me being featured for writing a story about the day i met kate.

so i'm super flattered.

thank you, sequined, and everyone involved.

now chalise and i have to go catch the bulls game so we can boo ben wallace.

(iFriends)

as you may remember, i was witty enough to win a blog tagline contest over at ex-everything. i suggested her tagline be "The Ex to Your Why" and her readers picked that as their favorite.

but i'd forgotten there was a prize involved!

i just got home to find a package in my mailbox from Ex, which included this $25 gift card and A STOCKING CAP SHE MADE FOR ME!



fucking awesome, right?

i don't look sick in this picture, do i? well...i'm fighting hard, and the stocking hat is still on my head fighting it with me.

...

so while we're skipping through blogdom, i thought i'd share the chicago blogger meetup pictures i've got, with a disclaimer: we were talking so damn much i only took a few photos.

here's pbrazz, tokissthecook, and nilsa.
nilsa can smell cameras pointed at her...i challenge you to get her looking away.


myself and cheryl.
or me trying to look down cheryl's shirt.


jenn and angela.


apparently their meetup was in the 1920's.

so...what are you gonna take a picture of this weekend?


oh...i forgot to mention that i didn't put up the pics i have with big time fancy in them, cuz she's rather anonymous online.

(welcome)

hm.

today i saw three times the hits i've ever seen here at d-blogged.

hi, everyone.

i'm going to go ahead and guess that most of you showed up and had no idea what you'd gotten yourself into.

i should have an 'about me' page.

i should make it a bit easier to you just drop in on this blog.

and all of that will happen ASAP.

but until then...welcome. stick around.

follow a guy around chicago.

check out the archives.

i have a feeling i'm not boring.

(the eternal platform question)

i'll never forget the first time i cheated on someone.

i was in middle school, and i'd fallen in love with another girl.

quite a few years later, after some back and forth rides up and down a mind-bending psychedelic relationship with a girl who went on to pursue her artistic drive in new york, let me interview her about our relationship, and be a damn great person who i very much respect today...i drew a line in the sand and knew i'd never enter into a relationship that wasn't entirely up front and faithful.

from where i stand today, the teenager who more than a decade ago first broke the trust of a girl he was dating looks fuzzy and unreal.

i hate the fact that i cheated on more than one person in my life. when i was young, i justified it with confusion and a runaway heart. the nasty and childish juggling act i played always led to very serious, very formative relationships, most notably the one i had with my now best girlfriend, and each one very special and important. it was always rooted in strong emotional ties. it was always based on my inability to walk away from one thing before the next began.

when it happened to me, i told myself to pin the feelings and emotions down in my memory, because i was sipping on the wine i'd fermented. i hurt, but i wasn't a hypocrite. i was staring the world's balance in the face.

so it comes with a heavy, heavy heart tonight, as i try to share with my readers a picture of eight snuggling puppies, that blogger yet again freezes up in middle of that upload.

as it's done so many times before.

and i find myself entertaining the idea of responding to the subtle suggestive nuances of my relationship with wordpress...hard pressed to exercise my resolved dedication to one platform...to one woman.

a woman i see everywhere. winking at me from some of my favorite blogs.

the things she wears!
how comfortable she is in a crowd!

my resolve to stay faithful is one i've proudly wore on my chest for so many years now, and through such wonderfully rewarding relationships filled to the brim with trust and honesty.

and to be honest, it's been truly without effort.

until recently.

i'm not sure i can hold on.

i'm sorry blogger.

i'm just not sure i can hold on.

oh and ps i don't think you're trying hard enough.

(pama martinis and chocolate yummies)

there's really nothing like unfamiliar faces in familiar places.

last night's chicago blogger meetup at the waterhouse in lakeview was a resounding success.

a killer time.

a reminder that reading the things someone else writes isn't an act of duty. it's not a lonely endeavor. it's an engagement, and the real people behind all that literary crafting are just as interesting and funny and quirky as their words are.

pbrazz.
somi.
to kiss the cook.
big time fancy.
angelaboration.
places never planned.
free and flawed.


oh, and they're all women, apparently.

as somi and pb razz and cheryl said, the get together was really great.

these women are vibrant and funny and beautiful.

they tell stories the way they write, and they tell great stories.

and later into the night, when chalise showed up and i nearly tore her in half with a hug (as it was the first time i'd seen her) all of my new blogging friends understood my excitement.

i'll say more later, but i wanted to make sure that everyone who i was lucky enough to meet last night knew this:

you are all truly wonderful people. i feel very lucky to have met you.




tomorrow i'll have pictures from last night, and, of course...

a pretty big announcement.

(monk email)

for those of you bloggers for whom i was able to track down an email,

the valentine's monkey i sent to your inbox was supposed to convey a message of adoration for your blogging skills.

apparently it didn't work for some of you.

which means that monkey i hired,

is a bad monkey.

BAD MONKEY!

happy valentine's day, ya'll.

love,
d(blogged).

(bloggers and meetups)

you didn't think you'd get through this week without one or two reminders of the Chicago Blogger Meetup this saturday, right?

when i graduated from arguably the most tech-conscious university in the world back in 2002, i had never met anyone that i'd already gotten to know (in any capacity) online.

we didn't have facebook.

we didn't have myspace.

and we weren't blogging yet.

google was still a private company and the googleplex didn't exist.

okay, i'd used craigslist in college to acquire furniture, and thus met a few people who were strangers to me, but it doesn't really count when your making financial transactions. that's no different than the girl behind the checkout at ikea, really.

now's a different story.

now i've met lots of people that i'd only previously known online, and nearly every one of them has turned out to be great.

and every time i've gotten together with someone like that, it's been a good time...fun, friendly, and filled with 'reunion'-ish overtones...you meet someone you know for the first time.

sure, it can be a little weird at first.

but only as weird as you let it be, and that really only lasts a minute or two.

which make saturday's get-together exciting...

...because of all the ways i've met people from the internet (and no, i've never met anyone through a dating site), meeting bloggers is by far the most fun.

they're the most fun.

they're the one's that actually know something about you.

read your diary.

invest time into learning about your life and your experiences.

leave funny comments and react to your stories in their own blog posts.

and they're the ones

that will be writing about

meeting you

sometime during the following week.

so if you're thinking twice about coming to The Waterhouse on saturday, i highly recommend you come and join us.

have a cocktail.

meet some local bloggers.

oh, and did i mention that i've got a surprise in store?

i don't think i had!



ps. that is a 'normal' picture of alexis, who was nice enough to do an interview for me posted here & here.

(comments and whisky)

one of the cool things about having a blog is hearing from people that they enjoy what you write.

it's a challenge, sometimes, to write, and it's even tougher to try to find the truth or core of your experiences and then pair up the words that might demonstrate that truth to someone who wasn't there.

but to me, that's the challenge of communication in general, and writing like this is an exercise in overcoming those difficulties. it's gratifying to do that successfully, and while i certainly know i don't always succeed at composing a compelling retelling of my thoughts or my life, i'm encouraged to know that every once in a while i do.

so when i'm out in the offline world, where i spend time with some of you, and you mention something i've written and you refer to it with any sort of respect or even familiarity, it truly warms my heart.

you see, i don't always know who's reading, and i don't expect anyone to read regularly, because while this blog is a part of my life, it needn't be a part of yours for us to be close and relate. i rarely mention my own blog as it is, and i should think that's way my friends would like it.

no one needs a repetitive self-promoter, right?

but for those of you who are reading, i just want to say thanks, because it's an honor to have your eyes.

today after a wonderful play at the steppenwolf theater, my sister mentioned my blog and a comment she'd left here last month, attached to the post i wrote about her christmas gift. she asked if i'd seen it, and because i hadn't, in the past, received notifications when a comment is left here (i've now changed that, of course), i hadn't see it, and i wasn't aware of how the whisky glasses i'd ordered for her from scotland were performing.

this was her comment:

It was like tasting scotch for the first time, indescribable. I finally found the cherries, vanillas, and maples, the peatiness, woodiness, and pines I had only fleetingly scented before. They came through finally as solid features, pillars of sensation. Each scotch tells a story and now I am able to listen directly. I immediately purchased three of my old favorites and found to my dismay that I absolutely hate one of them. But my all time favorite, the Lagavoulin 16 exalted and was exalted. I cannot thank you enough.
Nancy | 01.04.08 - 3:46 pm | #


i was happy to learn she reads the blog. 'happy' isn't the right word...'honored' really is. people throw that word around sometimes, but i do mean it. it impacts me when people i respect and love take the time to read my (mostly bone-headed) take on things.

and i was simultaneously pleased that she was so happy with the glasses.

yay for successful gift giving!

so, in short (or in a long-winded round-about post), my dear readers: thanks.

all of you.

just thanks.

it's blogger meet-up week at d-blogged.

after a weekend late-night meetup with TKTC and susie, you'd think my blogger-friend schedule would be all dried up, but alas you'd be mistaken.

last night couch and i met up in andersonville, my old 'hood, for a kickass evening of food, theater, and drinks. couch actually gets the credit for planning the evening, despite the fact that i lived two blocks from where we hung out, and the fact that i have lived in or near chicago for approximately 24 more years than her.

i was excited to meet couch, because she's one of my favorite writers, seems like a general badass, and sees humor in things i find hilarious as well.

that, and she just got back from an adventure to the sundance film festival where she conned her way into VIP parties and movie premieres, and i simply had to know how much fun that must have been.

we met up at pho 777 for some pho, which we decided isn't the most conducive culinary choice for a first encounter*. when i walked up she was reading hunter s. thompson's first novel, and i kind of knew it'd be a fun evening.

she was green (oh wait, that was the sexy neon light decor of pho 777), sweet, sharp, and as witty as her writing makes her out to be. we caught up on our real lives over a tasty vietnamese meal and joked about the restaurant's stylistic decisions**.

after we ate we went to the neo-futurist's haunt down the block to catch That's Weird Grandma, a series of short plays composed entirely by grade school children. through the acting troupe's volunteer work in under-privileged school districts around town, they collect short stories written by the children and produce them.

it.
is.
hilarious.

fifth grade love dramas unfold in a movie theater.
a child's take on a fashion model falling into piranha-infest water.

but get this...

on our way there, couch stops short and asks me if i read write on, megs.

i look confused and say that i do.

"cuz that's meg, right there."

"what?!"

sure enough, in the restaurant we're standing outside, she's recognized the infamous megan, and now that we're both standing outside this restaurant and pointing and laughing at how unlikely it is that two bloggers who met an hour ago might stumble upon another blogger they both happen to read...well, it would have been rude not to say hi.

plus, she had noticed us and i think we were creeping her out.

so we poked into the little place, i asked her if she was who we thought she was, and we all had a laugh about what had happened.

then she told us where she was headed, which as i'm sure you must have assumed (because, you know...it's so likely) was the SAME SHOW WE WERE GOING TO.

so last night the neo-futurists had three chicago bloggers in attendence and they never saw it coming!

after the show couch and i ducked into hopleaf, my northside favorite, and chatted for a few hours about everything ranging from our high school stereotypes, favorite movies, and motivations for blogging, to her extensive stint as a child-actor and my appetite for crack whores.

the usual stuff.

needless to say our time was well spent.

and sort of an adventure in and of itself.


ms. couch...it was a true pleasure to meet you.







*our conclusion was that digging through a huge bowl of soup with a spoon and chopsticks, slurping up admittedly delicious food, isn't exactly the most ideal setting for an introductory conversation. you be the judge.

**neon green lights trace the walls, as do an endless circle of mirrors. throw in about 40 different plants and flower pots, a hospital green paint job, and (you guessed it) green table dressings. result? a mood, people. a carefully constructed mood.

conversation with the last beer (a newcastle draft) that i had on saturday night.

d: newcastle, can i call you NC?

NC: sure thing, d.

d: thanks...continually typing your full name would have been bit tedious. plus, NC is kind of a cool nick for ya.

NC: i could probably get used to it!

d: anyway...you were the last beer i had last night, right around 2am, right?

NC: yeah, i think it was about then, maybe a bit earlier.

d: where were we?

NC: we were at pint, in wicker park...you'd actually just showed up. where were you until 1:30am? you didn't seem drunk.

d: no, i wasn't too bad. i'd been at barleycorn in lincoln park, which makes twice that i've been there in the last three weeks. i can't tell you how depressing that is. the bar staff has decided that we shouldn't pay to drink there though (thanks to abby, chicago's best bartender), so i don't think it'll be the last time we go.

NC: do they have newcastle on draft?

d: i don't think so.

NC: fuck that.

d: agreed...so anyway i just wanted to get your observations of the night i had last night at pint. did you see the two girls i was sitting with?

NC: um, yeah. i was on the table right between you guys. you all looked like you were having fun. a lot of fun, actually.

d: i know! i was sitting with the girls who write to kiss the cook and everyone loves a boston girl. could you tell i'd never met either one of them before? and how cute and fun are both of them?

NC: hey, man...i'm just a delicious english draft beer...although i don't think anyone would know you guys had just met. it seemed like you guys all knew each other pretty well!

they knew about your friend chalise and that you played soccer overseas. they knew a lot about you, and you knew a lot about them...it's kind of weird.

what are you guys...blog friends?

d: you say that like it's a bad thing.

and yeah, we are blog friends. they're great friends to have, blog friends! we care enough about one another to read each other's journals...some childhood friends don't get that involved.

i mean, i was so excited to meet those two that i left my car up north and had the cabbie drive me to a bar two blocks from my house so i wouldn't have to waste time getting there!

NC: you left your car behind?

d: well, i left it at a buddy's...we'd cabbed it to lincoln park.

later i shared a cab home with susie from everyone loves a boston girl. she's so adorable and sweet...i'm bummed she took off for boston today.

thank the lord to kiss the cook lives just around the corner from me. she is such a geniune and hilarious person.

i don't think i ever thought this blog would give me anything, and especially not two beautiful and smart young girls to lounge around with on a weekend night in chicago.

and in a bar with newcastle on tap, no less.

probably makes you wish you had a blog, huh?

NC: dude. no fingers, no type. rub it in.

d: oh, ha! yeah sorry.

NC: you sound pretty pumped about your new friends.

d: you would be too. both of them were great. funny, smiley, and smart.

oh, and if the first time you meet people you end up basically crunk dancing to neo-hip hop songs...they're your friends. automatically. people you should be drinking with. that's a general rule.

NC: that's a good rule.

d: this is the rule: bloggers have more fun. end of story.





to both of you beautiful bloggers...it was truly wonderful to meet you.

it's been a very long day of driving hundreds of miles after a fretful night of sleep in a seriously crappy hotel where i wanted just a half hour alone in the hottub and (of course) instead got a creepy couple talking loudly and i think having an affair.

i almost left it there, because that really isn't a bad one-liner post.

but i wanted to make sure everyone who wasn't a member of 20SB (twentysomething bloggers) went a joined...assuming you fit the age range...and make sure votes were cast for the first annual 20SB awards.

of which i'm not nominated, but of which lots of the readers who comment on this blog are.

because pretty much everyone who reads this blog is a better writer than i am.

also.

i thought about it a few times today on my drive, so congratulations to tankboy for the list of cool stuff going on in his life lately...especially the nod from time out chicago magazine. i think that's really cool, and well deserved. i'm gonna look out for it.

that is all.

see you tomorrow.

i was just about to continue a bit on my ex-girlfriend, but for whatever reason i can't seem to commit to writing on that subject right now, so it'll have to wait a bit. more on that later.

just last week i found my doppleganger in the blogosphere.

as you may or may not know, i troll around the internet using my signature from this blog, "d".

when i comment on another wonderful writer's blog, i sign those comments simply as "d".

okay.

so.

i received an email last week from ms. ex-everything, a hot young lady from southern california, in apparent response to a comment i'd left on her blog.

thing was...i read the comment she was referring to, and couldn't for the life of me remember writing it.

my first thought was that i was drunk or something...or maybe i was losing my short term memory (note to self; drink less). the comment included a statement as to very much liking beagles, and i can think of a couple of different dog breeds i like far more than beagles.

confusion ensues, until i follow the non-paper paper trail from ex's blog comments to find this.

ANOTHER D!

a female version of myself, out there this whole time and i didn't even know it.

in the bay area, no less...my home away from home.

and the first post i find at this little corner of the blogosphere?

a breakdown comparison between sean paul (yes, the rapper) and ron paul (yes, the presidential candidate).

i immediately read like twenty of her blog entries (obviously all the ones about chinging, her term for sex...what can i say; i'm a big dumb animal, folks) and i can now officially announce to the world:

i'm HONORED to have "d" as my bloppelganger!

so today is Reveal Your Blog Crush Day, which i think originated over at Sizzle Says.

i found out about it at Ex-Everything, where i've been crushed on. ex, my darling, the sentiment is so, so mutual.

so in that spirit, i'll reveal a few of the bloggers/blogs i've been crushing on lately, which means you should finish reading this post and head directly over to their blogs to see what i'm talking about. because i do know what i'm talking about, people.

here they are:

ex-everything: this is obvious, especially to her, because i've already told her that i'm hoping to marry her. but here's what you'll love about her blog...she's honest, sassy, and not afraid of the stuff most bloggers are afraid to write about. she calls people pussies, overshares about her choice of underwear, and asks her readers hilarious questions.

tales of a post-grad nothing: chris is hilarious and beautiful and my favorite blogger in chicago. and she's only recently moved here and she loves this city and i anticipate every post she writes. i think she came from richmond and she was probably the best blogger there too.

oh how lovely: jamie's another favorite chicago blogger who i just sent cookie bars to (they'll arrive tomorrow, jamie, i hope). she likes my cooking...what can i say? of course i'm gonna crush. she's got a boyfriend she loves, so i'll back off on gushing too much here. i love how into music she is. ok i'll stop.

the known universe: this is a blog you should discover if you haven't already. i've been reading it for a long, long time...from back when i wrote a different blog even. it feels like it's a blog that was with me in another blog-life, and has always kept me coming back. jamie posts an amazing picture with every post, and each post is a beautifully crafted peek into the nuances of his life. there's something incredibly comforting about his writing style...i've noticed myself sort of leaning back and getting comfortable when i notice his updates in my reader, preparing to really digest everything he writes.


there you have it...now SCRAM.

if you hadn't noticed...

the blog's now at www.d-blogged.com.

although i'm having trouble with the top banner.

and i'm having trouble with making sure that those of you (like myself) who'd rather just type 'd-blogged.com' into your address bar end up here and not at some depressingly horrid godaddy.com site, so if anyone's figure that particular detail out...please email me. d-blogged at gmail.

sweet dreams.